Essential Skills – Communication – 7 Barriers to Communication That Can Cause Divorce

When you were dating, communicating with your loved one was so easy. What happened now that you are married? You find you don’t feel so close anymore. Hurt feelings get in the way. Maybe the other just doesn’t seem interested anymore. This is probably due to some of the seven communication barriers below.

TIME

After marriage, couples become busy with their jobs, getting the home nice, perhaps kids come along and they don’t have as much free time to spend with each other. Communication becomes more about catching up with things but not about supporting each other and dreaming about plans together. Lack of time is a definite communication barrier.

DEPTH

When communication seems superficial, it is because the topics are not very emotionally involved such as weather, how was your day, about your past, present or future experiences, movies, and about surface things nothing personal. Satisfying communication that promotes a deep feeling of closeness is Level 2 or 3. Level 1 occurs about 80-90% of the time. Level 2 increases risk as it is about personal things like your ideas, opinions, feelings values and thoughts and averages about 10-20% of conversations. Level 3 which is the most rewarding is unfortunately only 1-2% of communication. Level 3 is validation. Always positive – expressing love, appreciation, respect and gratitude. This is the level that makes us really feel close and loved. To overcome communication barriers of depth, spend more time opening up and appreciating your spouse.

ASSUMPTIONS

Most communication is nonverbal (60%) which leads to people making assumptions as to meaning of these nonverbal clues. The communication barriers of assuming a meaning can lead to a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. Things as simple as how the door was closed, whether a smile was given when arriving, how clean the house is, or a swear word not directed towards anyone can mean a multitude of things. Based on the couple’s history together and even history with prior partners and family growing up, the spouse will interpret a meaning that could be wrong. Then their actions that follow could escalate a situation that didn’t need to if the correct assumption was made.

PREJUDGMENTS

We filter our communication through our beliefs. Barriers to communication are hard to predict based on these prior beliefs. Some are based on gender. If we believe that husbands just act louder, we may find when our husband is louder than usual, we don’t acknowledge that something is wrong but decide they are just acting normal instead of angry. Men may ignore their wives’ crying because they believe that women just cry over everything instead of responding to something being wrong. These prejudices can be over religion, economic status, culture, education and even past history. If we had a prior boyfriend who always behaved a certain way when he felt something, we might assume that our husband will also. When we make a wrong interpretation, we don’t fulfill our spouse’s needs with our actions.

PERSONAL DIFFERENCES

Personal foibles can add to barriers for communication. One spouse might talk fast and like lots of detail while the other spouse is more slow and just covers the basics. One might talk more about future plans while the other likes to reminisce about the past. One might like to think out loud while the other plans carefully before speaking. The awareness of these differences would be solving skills to have.

MALE/FEMALE DIFFERENCES

The communication barriers include certain gender differences between men and women. Men and women talk differently. Men prefer to be actively doing something when they are talking. Men are usually more direct and pointed. Women will tell part of a story and expect men to ask questions or understand. Women are better at looking for meaning by reading between what has been said. They also hint more.

LACK OF UNDERSTANDING

How to overcome communication barriers of misunderstanding is hard because many times the listener doesn’t know they have misunderstood the message. The sender may be feeling hurt, frustrated and feeling like the listener doesn’t care about them so they become more distant and stop talking more. If this continues, couples often find someone else who understands them and leave the marriage to find the love and closeness they desire. THIS DOES NOT NEED TO HAPPEN! Communication skills can be learned and everyone needs to do this.

The Success System That Never Fails by W Clement Stone – Book Review

Title and Author : The Success System That Never Fails by W. Clement Stone

Synopsis of Content:

Success is a system. It can be learned from those who have achieved success. In this book Stone accounts his own meteoric success going from poverty to riches and starting out in the Great Depression. He teaches what he learned from life experience, business, his mentors and others who taught him how to succeed in business.

The Success System that never fails covers the importance of selecting the correct environment for success, understanding the formula for success, thinking for oneself, the importance of taking action, and many other rules and disciplines that lead to success.

Stone teachers what he calls the three essentials for success: Inspiration to Action; Know How; and Activity Knowledge. These would also be understood as inspiration and motivation, knowledge of how to do something, and knowledge gained from experience. Each of these is essential in the pursuit of success.

He stresses the importance of proper planning and goal setting, how it takes less effort to succeed than to fail, finding and maintaining the right course to success, the importance of energy and motivation and the importance of the right team.

Stone was a devout man and he included discussions of the importance of personal faith and prayer. He also touches on what later became known as the power of attraction. He discusses the importance of developing success oriented skills such as becoming an effective public speaker, how to use your mind to achieve more, how to relate and assimilate useful information and many small steps that lead to success.

Stone's formulae for success are the traditional list of having a purpose, planning, using goals, working hard, working smart, and constant learning and improvement. While you will not find any new or revolutionary in this classic work you will find the solid success tools that have worked for millions of people for centuries and remain just as valid today as they were in 1962 when the book was written.

The examples and mentors he lists are dated a bit but they certainly illustrate his points well. To truly understand where success literature and theory is today it is useful to study its history. Stone was not a pioneer in this work but he worked with at least one such pioneer and studied others.

Readability / Writing Quality:

This book is very readable. It was ahead of its time in its careful organization. Atypical of books of that period does not contain large blocks of text but is broken down into an easy to follow outline form with many illustrations.

Notes on Author:

W. Clement Stone was one of the most successful salesman and businessman of the mid 20th century. He turned $ 100 into one of the largest insurance companies in the world and launched it in the middle of the Great Depression. He was also a student of success and a collaborator with Napoleon Hill during the 1950s.

Three Great Ideas You Can Use:

1. You can neutralize a negative emotion that limits you through properly directed action. You can change how you feel and think through your own directed action.

2. While learning and planning are critical to success nothing is more important than taking action and striking when opportunity presents itself. "Do it Now" is an axiom that will empower you.

3. If you can not save money the seeds of success will remain forever elusive. Having a budget and planning for the future are essential.

Publication Information:

The Success System That Never Fails by W. Clement Stone

Copyright 1962 by W. Clement Stone

Published by Prentice Hall, Inc.

Rating for this Book

Overall Rating for Book: very good

Writing Style: easy to follow and understand.

Usefulness: very useful to anyone who aspires to succeed.

How a Business Can Benefit From the Internet

With today’s advances in technologies and the rapid growth of the Internet having an online presence for a business is very beneficial. A business can benefit in many ways from owning its own Web site. Only a few years ago, if a customer wanted to do business with a specific company he or she would have to physically go to the business or, in less common cases, they could order from a catalog. The development of Internet technologies has created an environment where collaborating with clients, communicating with employees, marketing, and training have evolved to reach a broader group of clients in a more efficient manner.

With development and growth of Internet search engines, the way people find businesses has changed a great deal in the past few years. Someone in need of a product or service in a geographical area could go on the Internet and search for what they were inquiring about. The Internet search would give the person a list of Web sites to choose from. For example; if he or she were in need of a plumber they would use the Internet to search for a plumber in their city. In the search results he or she would find a plumber’s Web site and obtain their telephone number. The use of paper-back phone books to find businesses is slowly disappearing.

Internet technologies and Web pages also help businesses with when and where they can sell their products. With the recent development of online shopping Web sites, also known as ecommerce sites, companies are able to sell products anytime and from anywhere over the internet. The need for the old brick and mortar store is not always necessary. For example; if he or she wanted to buy a certain book they could go to the book store and buy it. With the Internet and shopping Web sites, he or she could find the book virtually and have it mailed to their house. Another type of shopping Web site is the auction site. An auction site allows an individual to bid on something over a period of time, normally for a reduced price. Having an online shopping Web site will greatly benefit a business when selling products, whether that is through an on-line store or through an auction site.

Marketing and advertising a business has changed recently because of the Internet. The traditional methods of advertising a product or service was usually done through printed ads and radio commercials. With the Internet, companies are advertising their products and services on popular Web sites. The more popular a Web page, the higher the charge for advertising space. Other Internet advertising options allow a company to advertise at specific times and specific geographic regions. Internet marketing can expand business advertising to the entire world.

Another great Internet based advertising system is social media. Social media Web sites could be good for a business by linking together groups and other businesses to share information. This can drive new clients to a business. People share information about a product they like and others share it. This type of advertising spreads quickly and can benefit a business.

The Internet and use of a company Web site helps a business communicate. A company can easily communicate with its clients and employees through the use of Internet technologies; such as, email, Web site content, and help forums. If he or she has a question about a product they could easily send the company a message through the help forum or email portal on the Web site. Business communications have changed with the use of online collaboration tools. Using the Internet, a sales person can have access to company contact lists, documents, and calendars that are embedded into the company Web site.

Employee information and training has changed with the use of the Internet. A company can have training modules built into their Web site for initial and recurring employee training sessions. This saves the company time and money. Communicating with employees by using email is also helpful to a business. Policy changes and other information can easily be sent throughout a business by using electronic communication. When a business uses technologies and electronic communication methods it saves money by not wasting paper.

The next generation of Internet technologies and Web sites are the mobile type. Businesses that have traveling sales people need access to company resources using smaller handheld devices. The Web applications made for mobile devices are smaller, fast loading, and do not rely on heavy graphics. The computer as we know it is changing into a smaller, hand held, mobile device. These smaller devices help a business become mobile. Imagine being a traveling business person and having to go through airport security everyday with a large laptop and all its equipment. Now imagine just carrying a handheld device and how much easier it becomes.

Internet technologies and the use of business Web sites are constantly changing and evolving. When a company can adapt and change with the technologies it will benefit because, using quick and effective communicating methods, marketing and advertising strategies, and efficient customer service systems allows a business to move from a brick and mortar store to a potentially global business. Today, if a business does not evolve and keep up with the technology, it will be left behind.

What is the Purpose of ERP Software?

Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) software can be described as a complete business software solution. It is aimed at the integration of all business processes and sub-processes into a single unified system. This system is formulated and implemented in an organization to effectively and efficiently achieve the business goals of the organization.

ERP packages are implemented to manage the existing and prospective business plans and policies in an efficient manner under strict deadlines. It can be referred to as the ultimate business solution package that is predominately concerned with making sure that the available resources of the organization are utilized in the best possible manner and coordinated with the business objectives of the organization.

It is crucial that modern day business organizations have a single unified system, which aims at harmonizing its business efforts. This can prove to be a crucial determinant in determining the scope, area and net results of the organization as a whole, rather than running many different systems that do not work well together. What makes ERP different from any other business solution package is the presence of a single and unified database system.

ERP software is as essential to the needs of a business today as food is for living. Businesses can not run competitively in the absence of properly drafted and formatted ERP software. The more effective implementation and follow-up, the better are the results. ERP software is needed by all modern-day organizations, irrespective of the size, area of ‚Äč‚Äčoperations and business objectives.

Nowadays there are many ERP packages available in the global market, including SAP, PeopleSoft, Oracle, JD Edwards, and BAAN.

The selection of an ERP software package is dependent on many factors: previous software implementation, nature and size of operations, recommendations of consultants, and management decisions.

Before installing specialized software, a detailed study must be made and reviewed to match the business requirements with the available packages. This must be taken as a serious study as any mistake in selection or its effective implementation can provoke disastrouse to the organizational objectives and prospects. The ERP software must be installed by an ERP vendor or third-party consulting organization, which is expert service providers when it comes to providing Consulting, customization and support.

Some of the benefits of ERP Software:

* All processes and sub-processes are linked and unified into a single system.

* There are improvements in the field of productivity, efficiency and achievement of business objectives.

* ERP tends to significantly reduce the response time by effectively transferring critical information.

* ERP helps in streamlining the numerous functions performed by the organization as a whole.

* It helps the management to make vital decisions with unparallel accuracy and in-depth study.

Thus, ERP software can effectively change the outlook of any business organization that exists in today's cutthroat business world. Proper implementation of the ERP software is the key factor, which can benefit the growth prospects of any organization.